I’m Frustrated

Today is rough. Last week I was on a course of intense steroids for 6 days to attempt to reduce the severity of my migraines, I had to switch other anti-migraine meds, and was basically reduced to a high and low emotional mess. One minute I was fine, the next I would be sobbing because I loved my cat so much that I couldn’t cope with all of my emotions due to the steroids. It turned out to be a complete waste of time and money as it unfortunately did nothing for me. But it’s checked off the list I suppose.

After a year of waiting I was finally able to be treated by the georgetown neurology clinic which only deals with headache and migraine patients. This month is going to be pretty intense, I’m with a panel of doctors now working together to try and get this chronic pain under control. I’m undergoing a MRI, a sleep study, nerve-block injections, and finally, botox.

I started two new medications this weekend and can’t take as many drugs to abort the pain once they start because of rebound effect. I can’t even take excedrin or alieve. Not being able to squeeze my pain relief security blanket is scary and the withdraws are pretty bad.

Lastly I have to get on birth control to stop my periods all together because hormones are the devil for me and cause a lot of migraines. And I get to see a psychiatrist and therapist as recommended by my panel of doctors because my anxiety and depression is at an all time from high being in pain every day and basically not able to do much social activity. I’m not even working anymore. I’m a bed potato and it sucks.

I miss volunteering, I miss working, I miss hiking around D.C., I miss working out. I just miss life and feel like it is running by me.

I’ve been pretty MIA lately and this is why (for those of you wondering), and chronic pain awareness is important because it effects everything is someone’s life. It’s completely drained me, oh yeah, and I can’t even reach for my energy comfort, coffee, because it also can effect headaches. I get one cup a day now. BUT STILL. I LOVE COFFEE AND WANT IT ALL THE TIME. So please be patient while doctors play guinea pig on me. I try to post happy and fun stuff on social media because I need to try and smile even if I feel like death on the inside.

The only commitment I currently make is Risque at The Crucible. It’s the 2nd Saturday of the month. It’s a lively dungeon play party with quirky themes and demo stations for newbies and seasoned veterans. I run the sybian with my girlfriend, Kat. Stop by and say “hello” if you’re there. This event is easy for me because it’s only for a few hours and if I get sick Kat can take over for me. Plus it gets me out of the house.

 

2 thoughts on “I’m Frustrated

  1. N. Hogge says:

    Hey Scarlett, I just wanted to write to you and let you know that I’m sorry to hear about all the hell you’re going through. It cannot be easy going through life constantly having to deal with migraines and other pains (And having to take many drugs), and I feel sorry for you. I sure hope you can pull through this and stay strong. I also might catch you on Twitch one day if I get an account there. I have been a fan of you for a few years now, and I’ve always enjoyed looking at your feet as I have felt, and still do feel, that they are beautiful. Thanks for taking the time to read this Scarlett, I hope things get better for you. I wish you nothing but the best!

    -N.D.H.

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